I have not been to work out at the gym in a few weeks; life has become so busy that working out has slipped low on my list of things to do. Because I have not been working out lately with each bite of chocolate or cake that I eat I have been feeling extra guilty over it. I have gone down the path of thinking that if I hate my body enough that will be the thing I need to motivate me to always exercise and lead a balanced life.
But let me tell you that it is not working. This way of thinking is conditional love, I will only like myself or love myself when I look a certain way. I think that if I stop loving myself when I make a mistake it will help me to not make any more mistakes; it is like I am punishing myself. If I punish myself when I fail I will do better next time. That never works, that is shame.
Shame is the most defeating thing. Once I begin to walk in shame I want to stop trying. I give up and give in. When I feel shame I put a wall up around myself, protecting me from what I think that other people think of me. Shame also cuts me off from God (like in the garden of Eden) it stops my ability to receive love and most of the time I need love the most to fix what is going on for why I have shame in the first place.
Shame does the opposite of everything I want and I can no longer use shame to motivate myself. I need to break down the walls and let love come in. The perfect love of the Father is what sets me right once again; it picks me up and puts my feet back on solid ground. When I receive love from the Father it helps me to see myself as He sees me, and it helps me to love myself unconditionally.
So I stop and ask God what are His favorite things about me right here and right now, what is it that He loves about me. I learn to distinguish between what are my thoughts about myself and what are Gods thoughts about me. I must learn to manage my inner thought life. I need to listen to the truth about myself and then speak it out over myself. I speak it out until I believe it.
Only I have the authority over my thinking, my body, my soul and my mind. How I treat myself is so important because it will affect how I relate to the rest of the world.
I know that I am not the only one who struggles in this area. If you can identify with me then I encourage you to own the truth and speak it out over yourself too.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21
God loves us no matter what. Learn to love yourself as much as the Father loves you. We need to see ourselves with our Fathers eyes and stop using shame to motivate us.